Patience, Patience, Patience :-)

 As some wiser person than me once said - Patience, Patience, Patience

You really have to develop more patience than you ever thought that you would ever need... 

You have to not take things personal that they will say to you- They don't mean it

They will lie to you at times - They don't mean it

They get embarrassed and make up things - They don't mean it

Accidents will happen - They don't mean it

Sometimes you have to threaten them or tell them some white lies- Think of like what you may have done did with children. Try something like I am leaving and not coming back unless you eat your food now.

Safety- Some Signs of Unsafe Driving

Some Signs of Unsafe Driving

This topic is never easy when it comes time to tell your loved one they can no longer drive. In the case of both my mom and mother in law we had the Doctor tell them. Believe me it is easier that way! They will still yell at you, sway nasty things to you and they try to find a way for you to let them drive so be prepared for that. However, I found that if you refer back to "the Doctor said so" then you always have them playing the bad guy/gal instead of you being the bad one. If you have any doubts at all take the keys immediately and prevent something worse from happening.

Determining when someone can no longer safely drive requires observation by family members and or caregivers, etc. The following list below provides some of the warning signs that it's time to stop your loved one from driving before they hurt themselves and or someone else. The bolded ones are the ones that we noticed.

• Forgetting how to locate familiar places
• Forgetting the destination you are driving to during the trip
• Returning from a routine drive later than usual
• Becoming angry or confused while driving
• Getting lost and calling us because they were disoriented
• Failing to observe traffic signs
• Making slow or poor decisions in traffic
• Driving at an inappropriate speed (could be slow or could be fast)
• Hitting curbs, swaying in lanes
• Using poor lane control
• Making errors at intersections
• Confusing the brake and gas pedals

List of Other Ideas and Considerations...

More thoughts and Ideas... that I am considering or still thinking about

Consider installing a whole house alarm system. However, note this can be really tricky as they can set off an alarm after it has been armed because they forget the code or forgot it was armed, etc.

Maybe use a heat detector device in the garage instead of a smoke detector. Each has pros and cons for garage use. https://www.amazon.com/First-Alert-Hard-Wired-Battery-Ionization/dp/B00WAHSKB2/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1XXM103VE5B45&keywords=first+alert+heat+detector+for+garage&qid=1688072905&sprefix=first+alert+heat+detector+for+garage%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-4

Consider installing an Automatic Shower Shutoff device- Showers that are left running can cause water damage and also cost lots of money. See this link below https://showersavingtimer.com/products/showerwizard-1

Consider Apple Air Tags or Tiles for locating items such as keys, pocketbooks, wallets, etc. 

Consider some type of GPS device to keep track of whereabouts, etc.

Consider installing additional lighting and or motion sensor lighting in closets to make it easier on them to locate things.

Label kitchen drawers to help them locate and or put away plates, utensils, etc.

Label TV remote, consider a retractable tether lock 

Make sure you always have extra batteries around for any of the devices that require batteries

Print a list of important telephone numbers with names, laminate them and hang them on the refrigerator somehow.

Consider Installing Window Sensors

Consider installing indoor cameras to keep an eye on them or if they have fallen, etc.

Consider an alert bracelet or necklace  

Smartphones

Smartphones-  The is another one of those sticking points for me as smart phones can be extremely, extremely helpful however, since smartphones have so much going on they can actually be a hindrance as well. 

The smartphone has given me a lot of pain and grief over time especially when it comes to my mother in law because she loves to play with it and change things on it every single day. Don't get me wrong they are essential for many things but they also can drive you crazy at the same time. In the case of my mother in law when she was still able to drive until about 9 months ago she was starting to get lost and she couldn't tell us where she was because she was disoriented. Since she has an iPhone we would use the Find My Phone App to locate her, without that it would have more difficult to locate her..

If they have a smartphone make sure that their location is turned on. 

I also changed the setting on the smart phone to turn the flashlight on when a call comes in

Make sure your cell number is listed as an emergency contact on their phone so that your call is never blocked for any reason.

I will dedicate a future post on all of the things I changed on the my mother in laws smartphone to make it easier on us and her.

Caring- Diet and Hydration

Diet and Hydration- As I mentioned in an earlier post as time goes on they start lose the ability and or the want to eat, cook and even drink water. The effort it takes them to think about and or prepare food is overwhelming for them. 

We prepare most of the meals and we also make them eat and drink water in front of us. They will start to tell they that have eaten however, they cannot remember what they ate or if the ate. They begin to lie to you not because they want to but because they cannot remember or they are embarrassed that they cannot remember. So never take it for granted that they are eating properly or even eating at all. What we do is let them be involved in some of the meal prep however, we keep an eye on them so they don't over salt, etc.

Hydration is also important but they forgot so keep them hydrated somehow.

Keep the chips to a minimum

Balance Diet- make sure they are eating vegetables, fruits, try to avoid too much red meat but give them some. Try to have more fish in the diet and stay away from high sodium foods.

Here is a good link for information on good diet habits. https://www.brightfocus.org/alzheimers/article/diet-and-alzheimers-disease?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwqZSlBhBwEiwAfoZUIHmoGjHEARnMdF2s0T4YmkpLgvQ0a9eCESfb3Kn91XPRQZaWzz-5BBoCBFcQAvD_BwE

Caring- Medications

Medications- Have a medicine pill dispenser box that is clearly marked with the days of the week is very helpful for them and also for the caretakers. We do use medicine dispenser boxes . However, we prefer to fill the dispenser and administer the medicines to them ourselves. We have so many fears of them taking more medicine than they should which can lead to more issues. We also don’t allow them to fill the pill dispensers either in fear of them taking to many of the same pills, etc. I strongly suggest that medicine is dispensed to your loved one by someone else other than themselves. It is best to administer this yourself or the caretaker.

See this link- https://www.amazon.com/Weekbox-Organizer-Weekly-Medicine-Container/dp/B09MTRQGFS/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2OJR1KEAJZ372&keywords=pill+box&qid=1688054606&sprefix=pill+box%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-5

Caring

As Important as Safety are Diet, Medications and Hydration are all a big part of keeping them healthy.

Whenever possible check in on them and or visit multiple times a day to see what is going on, administer medicine, give them their meals and hydration. Check around for things left on like the oven, showers, sinks, etc. The more you see them the more you can be aware of and what is going on in the home, etc.

If you call them on the phone and speak to them depending on the stage of there condition they can really fool you. My family members would speak to my Mom on the phone and tell me that sounds great and doubt me of her condition. This is because they didn't ask the correct questions. They can often have regular conversations and can remember the past however, they cannot tell you what they had for breakfast just a few minutes ago. This is because the short term memory goes first and they can continue to remember things in the past. Since my family members were not seeing her physically and did not ask the right questions they would doubt me.

After time your loved one will start to forget things. They may even forget to eat or forget if they actually did eat or not. They will also do the same with hydration. The effort it takes for them to prepare a meal is overwhelming for them so they won't do it . They will start to eat whatever is the easiest thing for them to get a hold of like chips, etc.